Sample Essay 1

Essay Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

STUDENT PROFILE:

  • Hometown: Miami, FL
  • GPA: 4.10
  • SAT scores: Math-590; CR-610; WR-540
  • Extracurricular activities: Varsity basketball, Founder and President of Plumpy Nut Fundraising Club
  • Schools Accepted: Drexel, Hofstra, Tufts

FIRST DRAFT

The genocide in Darfur is a crucial and heartbreaking occurrence in my eyes. This affair is of major concern to me; mainly because it is proceeding right now and is being uncared for. The majority of the leaders around the world do not recognize the Darfur conflict as genocide.Due to this continuous neglect of this issue and Africa as a whole, this problem remains close to my heart. Help needs to be provided by surrounding nations. The World can no longer ignore the genocide.

At times I sit and ponder; how can people simply ignore thousands of people getting killed and displaced? I am shocked and appalled that so many people can be so apathetic and heartless concerning this gut wrenching subject. Young girls are getting raped and captured as sex slaves. Young boys have to fend for themselves, not knowing where to find their family, let alone their next meal. Thousands of people are misplaced and living in refugee camps to insure their safety. The country of Sudan is being torn apart in this conflict and no aid has been offered by influential nations; or the U.N. (United Nations) for that matter. The neglect is painful and enlarges my concern.

My concern for this issue does not remain stagnant; I do not fit the typical “American fighting for cause” stereotype. I have taken action in the aid effort for Darfur. I have and will continue to raise money for Sudan. I realize that my impact is fairly limited but I will continue to gather money and supply aid to Sudan nevertheless. I will also educate the “blind” of the gravity of this predicament.

This mass murder is an important issue to me; and should also become more significant on the global level. History is truly repeating itself and once again people are blind to the genocide and denying the fact that it is currently taking place. The lack of global news coverage on this atrocity is an indication of the general indifference towards this conflict. The persecution of groups of people has been a reoccurring event over time. We as a global community are aware of this, yet there has still been no intervention. How many more innocent people must die? How many more young people must lose their childhoods? How many more people must flee to refugee camps before something will change? I hope that the world will open its eyes to the severity of Darfur; and that a resolve will be in Darfur’s near future.

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