Love & Commitment: The Seventh Degree of Manhood
As you enter this chapter, our focus will be on love, the 7th and final degree of manhood. What is love? Love is an abstract concept. It can be summed up in the simplest terms as a choice and a commitment to your wife and children. You must choose to build a relationship that is more than infatuation. There must be a commitment to promise to strengthen that bond.
The notion of love seems misunderstood in popular culture. Television confuses love with lust, sex and bubbly emotions. Lust is the uncontrollable drive for sex. It is usually vulgar and visual not based on emotion or a sense of commitment. Lust will drive men to do unsightly things to feed the appetite of lust. Porn, strip clubs, prostitutes and a host of other illicit sexual acts are its fruits. Men who are bound by lust can not usually remain true to one woman because their perceptions of women are based on a figment of their imagination.
When you mention love, the emotions come to mind of a giddy person who can not eat or sleep.When you fall in love, there is an actual physical effect to the human body. People describe the feeling of elation, joy, giddiness and a strong sense of emotion. However, this emotion is not the evidence of love. Typically these feelings can fluctuate over time and without a strong foundation these emotions can ultimately be lost.
Often times, young people experience these feelings and mistakenly equate them as evidence of love. However, love and infatuation produce the same feelings. Here’s how you can tell the difference; Love is based on true experience and knowledge gained through interacting with the person, while infatuation is based on daydreaming. It’s what results from thinking on that person and seeing the two of you interact in your mind’s eye. Infatuation will not stand up under relationship pressure and can disappear in one day. Love, on the other hand, stands the test of time and despite an argument or break up it lasts and does not fade away.
Commitment is a choice to dedicate yourself. The problem with most relationships today is that no one honors their commitment. When the chips are down they flee, instead of staying to make it work. Make no mistake, being committed takes work. You must move past the emotions and feelings to get to the bottom line: WE. Let me clarify, “it’s me and you against the world,” not me and you against one another. Your determination to remain committed is useless unless it is met with someone who shares the same standard.<
In this chapter you will learn what it means to love and be committed. We will confront serious issues that could wreck your family if left unchecked. By dealing with these issues now, you’ll see that building a healthy relationship and marriage can help your home stand strong for years to come.