ReCapturing The Vision eLearning Series
Course: Making It Work
The Keys to Healthy Relationships and MarriageMaking It Work Home
Even when you have followed NERMEM’s guidelines for choosing a compatible mate, getting to know his or her beliefs, demonstrating care and affection toward your partner and sharing your time and interests with him or her, conflicts can still arise in the marriage. All too often couples find themselves feeling resentful and alienated in marriage due to the struggles that occur as they attempt to live as one. Unfortunately, many marriages end in divorce over simple things that could have easily been addressed before the escalation of anger and before ill feel-ings took root.
There are a number of things that can be implemented in a marriage to maintain or restore happiness and cohesion. Many times couples begin to bicker and complain about things that may seem minor in the eyes of some. What is important to one person may not be important to their mate. Similarly, what is hurtful to one may not affect the other. These things must be kept in mind if couples are going to find harmony in their relationship. NERMEM research sug-gests that couples must manage strategies that foster a positive relationship. In this chapter, you will learn about these strategies and how to master them.
Firstly, couples must learn to minimize disagreements by using Reflective Listening. This ensures that misunderstandings are identified and addressed before they cause greater discord. Secondly, couples must learn to empathize with one another; that is, they must be aware of the other’s feelings so that they are better able to relate to their reactions and behaviors. Finally, couples must learn the art of compromise. By being willing to give and take, couples learn to find the middle ground that will enable them to peaceably resolve problems. This chapter will also discuss various emotional standoffs that are barriers to maintaining a healthy marriage.